There's this news: there's no such thing as the anonymous printed page. It seems that your printer really is tracking you. A microscopic series of dots on the page function as a code containing the date, time, and serial number of the printer that laid them on the page. Meaning no more anonymous bomb threats or stalker letters.
And for the really paranoid, there's this new state of the art bunker (hat tip: The Speculist):
The Bunker is an aerodynamic, monolithic reinforced concrete structure capable of withstanding monster hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, blizzards, military and terrorist attacks and extreme water pressure for underwater applications.
Take a look:
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